Having talked with thousands of couples & clients over the years, there's been one consistent fear: the DJ plays bad music. And that's a very valid concern. Because let's be honest, some DJs do play bad music, do go rogue, and do put their own interests over their clients.

But not us.

Some DJs may have the best intentions, but maybe they don't know how to properly handle requests. Maybe they didn't spend enough time really getting to know their clients and their musical tastes so they could make better song choices. Or maybe they didn't discuss enough scenarios that often happen and how best to handle them.

Again, not us.

Whether you go with us or not (we certainly hope you do), here are three areas you MUST talk about with your DJ if you really want to be happy with the music played at your event. Because even if you don't go with us (you really should though), we want you have a successful event no matter who you choose (but if you choose us, it will definitely be a success).

MUST PLAYS

This is one of the few times, and possibly the only time for some, that you have total reign over the music and vibe. I mean, it is YOUR day. Don't get me wrong - you should give some "DJ discretion" to your DJ and the ability to throw in music they think will be a fit. If they're an experienced DJ, they've seen hundreds, maybe thousands, of events and seen which songs really hit. They know things that will work across decades and with the varied genres of music you and your guests may want to hear. So once they earn your trust (and I'll tell you how they can below), then give them some freedom.

DJs want to know some of your "gotta-have" songs. And again, this is YOUR wedding or event, so you want to ensure some of your favorites are played. Here's another reason why you want to discuss your must plays with your DJ - what if they don't go over well and clear the dance floor? Does the DJ still keep it going because it's your jam you want to hear no matter what? If you don't talk about that, the DJ may get out of it early if it's not engaging everyone.

Our owner Troy Adams always gives the example of one of his brides he worked with who loved Phish. She wanted to hear the six minute full-version of a Phish song. In their planning meeting, Troy talked about how that may clear the dance floor and asked what she'd like him to do. She said to keep it on no matter what because it was a special song to her and a few friends. The day of, it did clear the dance floor, but there was the bride and some of her closest friends singing the entire song start to finish at the top of their lungs. And at the end of the wedding, she told Troy how special that moment was.

Another DJ may have skipped over that song on a playlist because it wasn't noted as a Must Play. Or they may have transitioned out of the song early because they didn't discuss during planning the possible outcomes of the song or learn about why it was significant. So talk about your Must Plays.

REQUESTS

So let's hit the fear of requests head on. The fear is that a guest will request a song you don't like…and the DJ will play it. But there's a way to eradicate that fear. And also to realize that requests can actually be a good thing when handled properly. No matter what though, it's something you and your DJ should talk about.

The negatives to requests are obvious. The DJ takes a request, plays it, and it ends up emptying the dance floor. Or it's offensive. Or it's a song that brings up bad memories. Or it's over-played, stale, or just plain a song you didn't want.

As we mentioned, there are also positives to requests. They create guest engagement. And you want your guests on the dance floor and having fun at your event, right?! It makes them feel involved. It creates opportunities for stories to be shared or new moments to be had. And sometimes even, guests request songs that are forgotten gems.

So what does the DJ do with requests? For us, if our clients are ok with guest requests, well tell them we'll follow four simple guidelines:

If it's a terrible song or a song that doesn't fit our client's tastes & parameters - we politely let the guest know we'll be unable to fit that in.
If it's a good song that fits the client's tastes & parameters, and we can still get in all the client's must-plays, we'll work the request in & engage the guest.
To point #2, if we thought it was good, would work, and wasn't on any do-not-play lists…but the client doesn't like it, we let them know it's as simple as just "giving us the look," and we're out of that song!
For those guests that may repeatedly request the same bad song, and who may even bug the couple or client to "tell the DJ to play it," we have a fun way of handling those. We discuss that with our clients to make sure they're ok with. We can't give away all our secrets, so we'll save that one for sharing with our clients!

It's your event & your guests, so it's your decision on whether to allow them. But then it's up to the DJ on how to navigate them. And that's something you both want to talk about.

FOUNDATIONAL SONG LISTS

Every client is different. Some clients will give us lists of music they've built that have more than enough music. It's not uncommon for someone to share their "wedding spotify list" they've been building all year that has four to five hours of music on it to fill a two-three hour dance floor timeframe. Or it's a list of songs all their employees put together, or even one students assembled for prom. And in all those cases…we revert back to the topics mentioned above regarding Must Plays, DJ discretion & Requests.

But the majority of the time, couples and clients will give us between 10-30 songs they like. We'll also discuss artists, decades & genres they enjoy in order to build a "framework" for their music at the wedding or event. It's key to have these "foundational" song lists for your DJ. To give them at least a handful, and ideally one or two dozen, songs that you like or love. A good DJ will help find these core songs and interests through quality questions and discussion during planning. That way, your DJ has a starting point to build from.

But we don't stop there.

With our couples, we often take those foundational songs given to us, and the musical framework we build during a planning meeting, and then we build an even bigger foundational song list ahead of time to send you. We'll build out a few hours of great tracks that fit your framework, and then send it to you ahead of time to make sure we've got the vibe you're looking for. To let you see what we're thinking and find out ahead of time if we're in sync. Because wouldn't you rather find that out in advance than on the day of?

So there you have it - three great areas to think about and discuss with your DJ to ensure the music at your wedding or event…is what you really want. A DJ who covers these three areas with you during planning will help you build trust and get comfortable you're in good hands. Or as our tagline says, to help you Stress Less & Celebrate More.

The Pro Perks Blog, by Carolina DJ Professionals

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